Posted in Brokenness by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 7/30/2010
When I was about five years old I went on a boating trip
with my friend and his family. We stopped at a gas station and my friend's mom
went inside while his dad filled up. As we kids waited, a car pulled up beside
our van on the opposite side from the gas tank, out of view of the dad. They
opened the door, grabbed a purse and left.
I can still remember the man popping his head in and looking
around at us. I was paralyzed by fear. For the next three years or so that fear
haunted me. I would even clinch up when my mom left me in the car to return a cart to the cart-rack
after grocery shopping.
It was one experience that shook my naive heart and bruised my
perception of the world and the trust I had on others. It didn't take much for
an injury to hit me as a child.
As I grew older, I've encountered others that have caused me deeper pain after
I gave them my trust. My tendency, I've noticed, is to run to safety nets that
I create. Vices even, that bring temporary relief. Entertainment in movies, TV
shows, games or otherwise, that numb the mind and bring distraction from real
issues.
Being on the mission field, an even more twisted thing can come about that I've
noticed in others. They hide behind the greater pain around them. They find
satisfaction in generosity and in charity. They ignore their own crap to focus
on the crap of others… something that’s easier to fix.
In Port-au-Prince, Haiti, this temptation couldn't be greater. There is more
garbage on these streets than I've seen anywhere else around the world. There
is greater devastation here than I have ever witnessed. 230,000 people recently
died here. 1,000,000 were made homeless.
A tremor woke me up about a week ago as I was staying with a few pastors and
their families. They immediately darted outside screaming and calling for
others to follow.
I recently wrote about a man named Ramseys, who showed my team and I his large
wound. Ramseys' hurt is huge enough for a lot of us to crouch behind. For the
best of us, though, he is an inspiration to continue on when the world brings
us pain.
Posted in Brokenness by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 7/28/2010
A man named Ramseys recently took a group of us to his home that was
destroyed in the quake. We walked into the enclosed area with the mountain of rubble that was his home and glanced around at bits of furniture, walls, doors and other things that piled up on the ground.
"I was not home in the afternoon of January 12th," he told us. "It is not easy to talk about this. My dad was here, though, with my sister and her kid. This is where they found my dad," he said, pointing. "It is not easy to talk about this," he repeated. "He was eating dinner. They pulled my sister out here. Her son was tucked under her arm. They were both dead. It is not easy to talk about this."
I envisioned what it must have been like, as the ground started to shake. She probably grabbed her son and didn't know what to do but hold him close. It wasn't long before the house collapsed around them. And as it did, she shielded her son with her own body.
"How do you do it?" one of the girls on the team asked Ramseys through tears. "How do you continue to follow God?"
I don't remember all that he said, but one thing did stick with me. "This is life."
This man gets brokenness and death as a huge part of life that most of us don't.
I've been realizing more and more recently how broken humanity is. The reality I grew up with in America shows me that darkness in my society is covered and hidden deep within. It's kept hidden in our injured hearts by clever wit, snippy sass, passive aggression and sarcasm that cuts at people's insecurities. Somehow we feel better by putting others down. Here's a phrase I like, "Hurt people hurt people."
We're all human, though, injured by the humanity of others. We may be trying to recover, but too afraid of being hurt again to trust another. Some may hurt us, but I know a good amount of people who thrive on bringing life and inner healing to others.
I challenge you to be vulnerable. Find a safe, trustworthy person and talk about the pain that's hard to even mention. There is strength and healing on the other side of pain, a light at the end of the tunnel.
What do you do as an overseer when production decreases as a result of low moral, high demand, low resources, low personal time and uncomfortable conditions?
Being on the mission field, this is something I see come up all the time. It follows the romantic phase. People grow static and used to things being the way they've been. In short, it's settling for the status quo.
I love how Ronald Regan put it: "Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're
in'."
It'd be nice to be proactive in change and never arrive at that mess in the first place, but it is so easy to do! The status quo sneaks up on you and before you know it, you're up to your knees in a mess and struggling just to walk. Then it's about individual survival, not corporate life.
But how does a group regain this sense of thriving life once they've succumbed to the status quo?
It takes a heretic. Someone who steps up against what's been happening and begins pointing to something greater than themselves. He'll be criticized for sure, but someone will follow. And then a few will fall in behind that guy. And before you know it, you've got a movement.
Posted in Partying by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 6/30/2010
Today I saw the the World Race Relief squad off at the airport. The past two days we had been debriefing at a great location in Port-au-Prince. Here are the pictures:
On the way to our debrief spot, we passed this guy. Great shot of Haiti culture here. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=179201270&v=app_2392950137#!/video/video.php?v=539344933063
Two i-squad alum - Heather (left) and Tiffany. Heather was one of the leaders.
Matt's team reflecting on the month... Matt doesn't like this shot.
Pool and pizza party
Dance off to cap off the day yesterday... this is Matt's team - 2nd place. Check out their video below.
Stacy's team got pretty creative with their headlamps
Heather's team got pretty crazy... they won 1st place
Do you ever wish you could see in the spiritual realm as clearly as you can in the physical? I do. I feel like a cat that was just born and is trying to open his eyes, but is hampered by all kinds of gunk and hindered by developing eye-balls.
I imagine there are all kinds of demons swarming like a bunch of hornets, trying to penetrate the protective veil I've got around me by the grace and love (read blood) of Christ. I imagine there are all sorts of methods they have realized they can use to come against me after my whole life of studying me.
I imagine there are infinitely more incredible heavenly angelic beings sent to fight for me, warding them off. They are battling for my soul, and I imagine I've given them a pretty rough time of it. It's by my choices that they fail or are victorious.
I've opened some doors into my life that were rusted up at the hinges. They hadn't been closed in a while and now that I've been taking back Kingdom in my own life and greasing up the hinges of these doors, they swing easy. They are shut, but if I ever let up, they'll fling wide open again. The devil and his army crouches at the doors just waiting for me to not push back (read grant them permission) when they try again to see if they aren't locked.
I cannot afford to relax my spiritual man. Not right now. And so I admit myself regularly to getting checkups. I have guys praying for me. I have peers fighting with me. I have
spiritual fathers investing into me. I let them know where I'm at. I go
in repeatedly for checkups.
Two days ago the devil barraged me and I went straight to Neil Bruinsma to fight with me. We spent five minutes in prayer and it was done.
Yesterday I emailed Clint Bokelman just to check in, letting him know how I struggle to know God as my father and asking him for insight. I just started a weekly check-in with him.
Every month I email Michael Hindes to check in and tell him where I'm at.
Several times a week I connect with Aaron Bruner and try to open up my mind and heart for him.
I periodically check in with other spiritual fathers like Gary Black, Andrew Shearman, Mike Paschal and my dad. And I'm always on the search for more! I know that all of these men would go to battle for me because they have. I have to surround myself with these guys. When I let up, handles on doors start turning and it's all the push they need for the doors on their well greased hinges to swing wide.
But I also know that failure is a big part of success. I will fall, but guys like this will be quick to help me up again.
When was the last time you went in for a checkup? Would you be filled with shame to open up your heart and mind to others? If so, know that grace died on a tree to kill that shame... all dead things only now reign with our permission.
Get someone who is filled with His Spirit of grace to fight with you. If you've got nobody, I invite you to let me find you someone or be that person for you. Where is the body of Christ if we're not living and fighting in unity and grace for each other?
Have you ever seen Wall-E? Great movie! There's a line in it that I absolutely love. It's near the end of the movie and there's a struggle between a robotic 'Autopilot' of the space-ship and the captain. At the apex of the wrestling match the robot says that everyone must stay on the ship to survive. To which the captain shouts back, "I don't want to survive, I want to live!"
I met this family in Nicaragua and helped them take a tiny step past survival to life. Life is so hard for them, yet they are full of smiles, are exceedingly generous givers, love well and are well behaved.
Frank Burder, one of my good friends that I met working on staff with AIM in Nicaragua, sent me this video recently.
*Side note: Nicaraguans have a hard time pronouncing the th part of my name, so I went by Sergio.
Posted in Swaziland by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 6/23/2010
I was browsing the NFL.com tonight when I came across this on the front page. Pretty cool, the difference Phil Williams and 28 Sports Group is making on NFL players' lives. This is a link to a video of some players' trip to AIM's base in Swaziland.
Posted in Freedom by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 6/20/2010
Demons. I don't think we realize how prevalent and hidden they are. I think I've got several demons on me. I can tell because I think envious thoughts - there's a spirit of envy that clings to me at times... when I allow it. I have been selfishly ambitious recently, and not just once, but several times - there's a demonic presence hanging onto my back and pulling me down, and others with me. I am particularly susceptible to the demonic force of performance.
The devil knows these things... I'm just bringing them to light.
I volunteered these three and a couple of others to the community this afternoon so that I could receive freedom from them. I evicted them from myself and embraced the fullness of the Holy Spirit's indwelling power in my life.
No shame. No pain. It wasn't even difficult. I just recognized the tendencies and bends I have in some areas as demonic and told them to go to hell.
I have to keep myself in order. Right now, I can't afford to let up! Satan is crouching at the door just waiting for it to crack open so that he can pounce. And all he needs is a crack.
What about you? Do you feel depressed, bogged down in shame, afraid, weak, timid, hopeless or rejected? If you do, recognize that those feelings produce death and that they are from hell, your enemy. Our enemy.
Would you like to be free?
If you do, recognize that you have authority over hell (Luke 10-11), and then email me... I would love to help you become free from them.
Posted in Kingdom Living by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 6/19/2010
The World Race is doing something new and exciting this month - they are giving the extraordinary and awesome gift of experiencing the World Race culture without the necessary sacrifices of an 11-month commitment. It's a single month simulation set to the tune of Haiti relief. Aaron Bruner and I are guiding it on the ground.
We recently ran into a problem...
A parent had a conversation with her daughter about how she was sick. The person was probably venting a little, maybe communicated some weariness and transferred some of her frustrations. In response, the mother contacted AIM, saying that they need to send her daughter home. To put you at ease before reading on, we had the participant call her mom and calm her down. She is still here and doing very well.
The point of my writing this is to propose a great "way" for parents of World Racers to follow. I write this from the perspective of a World Race alum whose parents were influential in my having a stellar overall experience, filled with brokenness, confusion and frustration.
When your son or daughter contacts you in tears and at the end of themselves... ...Encourage them to wrestle through it. I remember a time in Cambodia when I was completely at the end of myself. I was all but done with Christianity, with God, with prayer and with the World Race. I remember talking with my dad about it, venting all of this to him. He told me that God wasn't offended and that he could take it. He recommended I voice my frustrations to him, that I journal my feelings and thoughts, that I process them thoroughly and remain fully in them for a time. I did, and three days later I had thegreatest God experience of my life.
When your son or daughter is sick and bed-ridden... ...Pray for them and trust AIM leadership enough to know that they will take care of your son's or daughter's needs. I remember being bed-ridden sick for over a week in Mozambique. I was throwing up, I had awful diarrhea and a high fever. Conditions were far from perfect, too! We were taking bucket showers, I had to fetch water and dump it in the toilet for it to flush, it was hot! and I was sleeping on a couch in the living room where people were walking through and making a bunch of noise. If there ever was a time I wanted to be home, it was then! My parents recognized that this is just a part of it, though, and knew that I'd get through it in time. And I did.
Know that they will feel... ...Hurt, misunderstood, confused, frustrated, and just downright awful sometimes. Talk through this with your son or daughter before they leave and release them to experience these difficult emotions, realizing that they are all a part of growth.
Realize that they are adults... ...Think back to when you "left the nest" and, knowing and feeling what you do now as a parent, put yourself in your parents' shoes. Imagine what they may have felt; how difficult it must have been to let you go. But it needed to happen. Then try to put yourself in your son's or daughter's shoes. They are not kids anymore. It is time to let go.
Release them to God... ...Trusting that He has ordained their steps. Love them enough to walk through extremely difficult times with God and community. This refines them and they will have far greater character in the end! Read and study James 1 with your spouse and commit your child to the Lord.
I'm still young myself, but I imagine releasing your son or daughter may be the most difficult thing you'll ever do. The rewards are worth it! Your son or daughter will honor and respect you for it. They will seek you out. They will love you well. You will connect on a deeper level. Your relationship will be strengthened and will grow in greater depths than you ever would have thought.
Posted in Covenant by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 6/12/2010
A few weeks after the earthquake hit in Haiti, I started talking with people about their experiences down here. My dad told me about the spiritual shift the country had taken and remarked how incredible the Haitians' posture was toward God. Especially after so many had been dedicated to voodooism. I read blogs like this one and this one that broke my heart and caused something to rise up from within me, demanding that "Things should not be this way!"
Eventually I made plans to come here for the summer to be a part of what God was doing. I looked forward to getting involved in the community of leaders here, I looked forward to participating on a World Race relief trip for the month of June, and I looked forward to helping a people in need. Above all of this, though, I looked forward to exploring new depths in my covenantal relationship with Aaron Bruner.
When I say covenantal, I mean mutual dedication and commitment for life; I mean preferring each other above ourselves; I mean Jonathan and David.
We started down this road together a little over two years ago while in Swaziland on the World Race. Check out what Aaron wrote about it then. Neither of us really knew what we were getting ourselves into, but we knew in our spirits it was right. For the rest of the race we supported each other and spurred each other on... at least some. We tried to be uplifting and see the best in each other. Looking back, though, I think we were both dealing with a lot of issues individually and weren't in a place to be able to invest fully in our relationship. It was like we were running fullspeed along a road filled with potholes, blind. Fortunately, though, we serve a gracious and loving God!
After the race, we kept in touch pretty well, but only as good friends. After nearly two years, though, I began to feel anxious about us coming together to build our relationship again. Just like I knew in my spirit that this was right in Swaziland, I knew it was right that we come back together for a time.
The Lord looked out for us through it all. We were paired together to guide this community of Short Term Missions leaders here and looked forward to the partnership. As the WR relief trip approached, a ministry contact fell through, which led the way to a team being dropped and me being taken back to partner with Aaron on the World Race side of things as well.
Since coming here, it's been clear that Aaron sees the best in me. He encourages me, he instructs me, he supports me and he promotes me. I'm convinced he really does want what's best for me and will look out for me, even at his own expense. I strive to do the same.
When I sit back and think about all of this, I realize how blessed we are to have this at twenty-five years young.
What an adventure life is! It's one my greatest joys to go through it with such an honorable, passionate, faithful and inspiring man.
As I grew older, I've encountered others that have caused me deeper pain after
I gave them my trust. My tendency, I've noticed, is to run to safety nets that
I create. Vices even, that bring temporary relief. Entertainment in movies, TV
shows, games or otherwise, that numb the mind and bring distraction from real
issues.
"I was not home in the afternoon of January 12th," he told us. "It is not easy to talk about this. My dad was here, though, with my sister and her kid. This is where they found my dad," he said, pointing. "It is not easy to talk about this," he repeated. "He was eating dinner. They pulled my sister out here. Her son was tucked under her arm. They were both dead. It is not easy to talk about this."
I imagine there are infinitely more incredible heavenly angelic beings sent to fight for me, warding them off. They are battling for my soul, and I imagine I've given them a pretty rough time of it. It's by my choices that they fail or are victorious.
I cannot afford to relax my spiritual man. Not right now. And so I admit myself regularly to getting checkups. I have guys praying for me. I have peers fighting with me. I have
spiritual fathers investing into me. I let them know where I'm at. I go
in repeatedly for checkups.
I periodically check in with other spiritual fathers like 
I volunteered these three and a couple of others to the community this afternoon so that I could receive freedom from them. I evicted them from myself and embraced the fullness of the Holy Spirit's indwelling power in my life.
Eventually I made plans to come here for the summer to be a part of what God was doing. I looked forward to getting involved in the community of leaders here, I looked forward to participating on a World Race relief trip for the month of June, and I looked forward to helping a people in need. Above all of this, though, I looked forward to exploring new depths in my covenantal relationship with 