Here's a video I took yesterday of our old home in West Palm Beach, Florida, where my dad started AIM. We built two small rooms in our garage where my dad worked. I don't think you can see inside the windows on this video, but I looked and the rooms are still there... 21 years later. I wonder how they're being used now. My how the time flies by!
Posted in Discipleship by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 8/24/2010
I've been frustrated over and over again over the past two years or so by people who don't respond with dedication to my investment into them. People are fickle, my generation in particular. But I find myself overcome by the frustration of lack of reciprocation and fall off the horse myself as a result.
I asked one of my spiritual fathers recently how many young men actually respond to his high level of investment into them by saying, "I'd like to come under your headship for a time."
"None," he told me.
I got an email a few weeks ago from a guy I'd never met requesting discipleship. I realize that most of discipleship will come not from my end, but from his. I can give all I want, but if this guy isn't overcome by hunger, he won't get there. I think I'm finally starting to understand Jeremiah 29:13 - "You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart." It takes all of one's heart!
So, I set these expectations for him. If you are being discipled, I recommend them for you as well.
1. Check in with me weekly, letting me know what God is teaching you and how you're acting on it. 2. Ask me insightful questions. 3. Seek me out. 4. After I challenge you, get back with me about what you hear me saying and give me a plan of action. 5. Do what you plan to do. 6. Let me know how that goes (follow up with me). 7. Lead others where you're headed.
In contrast, this is what I promised him. Granted, all of what I have is available to him, but it's up to him to go and get it.
I can challenge you. I can answer questions. I can ask questions. I can encourage you.
In fact, I haven't really done this yet myself either. It's something I want to focus intently on in the near future.
If there's someone out there who is willing to pour into you, you would
do well to take most of the initiative.
I woke up earlier than usual this morning because I felt the greater than usual need to spend more time with God. It's funny, waking up early to meet with God. I usually don't know where to go to meet him or what to do. Same was true this morning.
I made some coffee (thanks to having electricity!), sat down, read a chapter of the Bible and prayed.
I asked God where He'd have me go in this next season of life and what He'd have me do. It seems there are so many opportunities for ministry coming up, and they all seem great. Which one do I choose?
So I considered my passion to bring young men to life this morning and prayed.
"Where's the best place to start, God?" I asked him. "What should I make my next step?"
He answered, "I'll not steal that struggle from you."
"I've got this fire in my heart," I told him, "to see my generation in the states know you and live radically for you. I don't know how to bring it about, but that's my heart. Train me in it, Father. Be my guide. Bring me young men who are ready for something more. But I'm not quite sure what it could look like."
I was looking for God to explain His ways to me and show me how to do this thing. Then He answered me again, saying,
"Seth, it's seeing me. It's hearing my voice and stepping out in faith. It's not creating a formula or a program to follow. It's taking the young men I give you and leading them back to me to see what I've got for them and stepping out in faith."
I realized how systematic I was then and how I was limiting God to that view of Him. He had to fit into my perception of Him until He showed me that He is so much more.
Posted in Christianity by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 8/6/2010
"I was done with ministry," Steve, a pastor from California said. Our project leader, Ryan Bodine, and I sat in near him, listening as he spoke about how he'd been living in a desert for a while. "I grew dry. It was all work that I was doing and it wasn't fulfilling. I was ministering to this group of college kids at the church, but I felt completely empty inside. I wasn't alive. It was all by my effort!"
Today I received an email from that same pastor. He wrote:
"God is not done using me and I feel very strongly that I am being called
into the mission field. I have always had a heart for missions, but
experiencing God the way I did while in Haiti, makes me want to consume
myself in that environment each and every day! I want to encounter God
daily the same way I did while serving in Haiti."
I'm wondering now what it took for him to get to this place in just one week. AIM is great, but we just set God up for the work He was already going to do. It took a ready and willing person, the Holy Spirit working and us as a group putting ourselves in situations for God to show up and do something awesome. I challenged Steve in my response to his email and hopefully encouraged him.
I'm realizing that God is doing an awesome thing in the U.S. He's bringing His church together into radical action. Guys like Steve are going to do it!
I answered another email today from a guy that went to Guatemala with my sister. He's requesting to be my "apprentice"! I couldn't help but laugh when I read it, but I love the guy's passion. Here's a seventeen year old kid who just wants to grow. He may not know much about discipleship, the church, the Kingdom of God or the gifts of the Spirit, but he's hungry and wants to get going! (I'll let you know how this develops.)
There are a number of others who have gotten in touch with me about discipleship and ministry. These people are sick and tired of being nice Christians who do little more for their savior than show up for church every Sunday, and want to start doing what Jesus taught. I'm excited about seeing what God does in and thru them.
Posted in Brokenness by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 7/30/2010
When I was about five years old I went on a boating trip
with my friend and his family. We stopped at a gas station and my friend's mom
went inside while his dad filled up. As we kids waited, a car pulled up beside
our van on the opposite side from the gas tank, out of view of the dad. They
opened the door, grabbed a purse and left.
I can still remember the man popping his head in and looking
around at us. I was paralyzed by fear. For the next three years or so that fear
haunted me. I would even clinch up when my mom left me in the car to return a cart to the cart-rack
after grocery shopping.
It was one experience that shook my naive heart and bruised my
perception of the world and the trust I had on others. It didn't take much for
an injury to hit me as a child.
As I grew older, I've encountered others that have caused me deeper pain after
I gave them my trust. My tendency, I've noticed, is to run to safety nets that
I create. Vices even, that bring temporary relief. Entertainment in movies, TV
shows, games or otherwise, that numb the mind and bring distraction from real
issues.
Being on the mission field, an even more twisted thing can come about that I've
noticed in others. They hide behind the greater pain around them. They find
satisfaction in generosity and in charity. They ignore their own crap to focus
on the crap of others… something that’s easier to fix.
In Port-au-Prince, Haiti, this temptation couldn't be greater. There is more
garbage on these streets than I've seen anywhere else around the world. There
is greater devastation here than I have ever witnessed. 230,000 people recently
died here. 1,000,000 were made homeless.
A tremor woke me up about a week ago as I was staying with a few pastors and
their families. They immediately darted outside screaming and calling for
others to follow.
I recently wrote about a man named Ramseys, who showed my team and I his large
wound. Ramseys' hurt is huge enough for a lot of us to crouch behind. For the
best of us, though, he is an inspiration to continue on when the world brings
us pain.
Posted in Brokenness by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 7/28/2010
A man named Ramseys recently took a group of us to his home that was
destroyed in the quake. We walked into the enclosed area with the mountain of rubble that was his home and glanced around at bits of furniture, walls, doors and other things that piled up on the ground.
"I was not home in the afternoon of January 12th," he told us. "It is not easy to talk about this. My dad was here, though, with my sister and her kid. This is where they found my dad," he said, pointing. "It is not easy to talk about this," he repeated. "He was eating dinner. They pulled my sister out here. Her son was tucked under her arm. They were both dead. It is not easy to talk about this."
I envisioned what it must have been like, as the ground started to shake. She probably grabbed her son and didn't know what to do but hold him close. It wasn't long before the house collapsed around them. And as it did, she shielded her son with her own body.
"How do you do it?" one of the girls on the team asked Ramseys through tears. "How do you continue to follow God?"
I don't remember all that he said, but one thing did stick with me. "This is life."
This man gets brokenness and death as a huge part of life that most of us don't.
I've been realizing more and more recently how broken humanity is. The reality I grew up with in America shows me that darkness in my society is covered and hidden deep within. It's kept hidden in our injured hearts by clever wit, snippy sass, passive aggression and sarcasm that cuts at people's insecurities. Somehow we feel better by putting others down. Here's a phrase I like, "Hurt people hurt people."
We're all human, though, injured by the humanity of others. We may be trying to recover, but too afraid of being hurt again to trust another. Some may hurt us, but I know a good amount of people who thrive on bringing life and inner healing to others.
I challenge you to be vulnerable. Find a safe, trustworthy person and talk about the pain that's hard to even mention. There is strength and healing on the other side of pain, a light at the end of the tunnel.
What do you do as an overseer when production decreases as a result of low moral, high demand, low resources, low personal time and uncomfortable conditions?
Being on the mission field, this is something I see come up all the time. It follows the romantic phase. People grow static and used to things being the way they've been. In short, it's settling for the status quo.
I love how Ronald Regan put it: "Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're
in'."
It'd be nice to be proactive in change and never arrive at that mess in the first place, but it is so easy to do! The status quo sneaks up on you and before you know it, you're up to your knees in a mess and struggling just to walk. Then it's about individual survival, not corporate life.
But how does a group regain this sense of thriving life once they've succumbed to the status quo?
It takes a heretic. Someone who steps up against what's been happening and begins pointing to something greater than themselves. He'll be criticized for sure, but someone will follow. And then a few will fall in behind that guy. And before you know it, you've got a movement.
Posted in Partying by Seth Barnes, Jr. on 6/30/2010
Today I saw the the World Race Relief squad off at the airport. The past two days we had been debriefing at a great location in Port-au-Prince. Here are the pictures:
On the way to our debrief spot, we passed this guy. Great shot of Haiti culture here. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=179201270&v=app_2392950137#!/video/video.php?v=539344933063
Two i-squad alum - Heather (left) and Tiffany. Heather was one of the leaders.
Matt's team reflecting on the month... Matt doesn't like this shot.
Pool and pizza party
Dance off to cap off the day yesterday... this is Matt's team - 2nd place. Check out their video below.
Stacy's team got pretty creative with their headlamps
Heather's team got pretty crazy... they won 1st place
Do you ever wish you could see in the spiritual realm as clearly as you can in the physical? I do. I feel like a cat that was just born and is trying to open his eyes, but is hampered by all kinds of gunk and hindered by developing eye-balls.
I imagine there are all kinds of demons swarming like a bunch of hornets, trying to penetrate the protective veil I've got around me by the grace and love (read blood) of Christ. I imagine there are all sorts of methods they have realized they can use to come against me after my whole life of studying me.
I imagine there are infinitely more incredible heavenly angelic beings sent to fight for me, warding them off. They are battling for my soul, and I imagine I've given them a pretty rough time of it. It's by my choices that they fail or are victorious.
I've opened some doors into my life that were rusted up at the hinges. They hadn't been closed in a while and now that I've been taking back Kingdom in my own life and greasing up the hinges of these doors, they swing easy. They are shut, but if I ever let up, they'll fling wide open again. The devil and his army crouches at the doors just waiting for me to not push back (read grant them permission) when they try again to see if they aren't locked.
I cannot afford to relax my spiritual man. Not right now. And so I admit myself regularly to getting checkups. I have guys praying for me. I have peers fighting with me. I have
spiritual fathers investing into me. I let them know where I'm at. I go
in repeatedly for checkups.
Two days ago the devil barraged me and I went straight to Neil Bruinsma to fight with me. We spent five minutes in prayer and it was done.
Yesterday I emailed Clint Bokelman just to check in, letting him know how I struggle to know God as my father and asking him for insight. I just started a weekly check-in with him.
Every month I email Michael Hindes to check in and tell him where I'm at.
Several times a week I connect with Aaron Bruner and try to open up my mind and heart for him.
I periodically check in with other spiritual fathers like Gary Black, Andrew Shearman, Mike Paschal and my dad. And I'm always on the search for more! I know that all of these men would go to battle for me because they have. I have to surround myself with these guys. When I let up, handles on doors start turning and it's all the push they need for the doors on their well greased hinges to swing wide.
But I also know that failure is a big part of success. I will fall, but guys like this will be quick to help me up again.
When was the last time you went in for a checkup? Would you be filled with shame to open up your heart and mind to others? If so, know that grace died on a tree to kill that shame... all dead things only now reign with our permission.
Get someone who is filled with His Spirit of grace to fight with you. If you've got nobody, I invite you to let me find you someone or be that person for you. Where is the body of Christ if we're not living and fighting in unity and grace for each other?
Have you ever seen Wall-E? Great movie! There's a line in it that I absolutely love. It's near the end of the movie and there's a struggle between a robotic 'Autopilot' of the space-ship and the captain. At the apex of the wrestling match the robot says that everyone must stay on the ship to survive. To which the captain shouts back, "I don't want to survive, I want to live!"
I met this family in Nicaragua and helped them take a tiny step past survival to life. Life is so hard for them, yet they are full of smiles, are exceedingly generous givers, love well and are well behaved.
Frank Burder, one of my good friends that I met working on staff with AIM in Nicaragua, sent me this video recently.
*Side note: Nicaraguans have a hard time pronouncing the th part of my name, so I went by Sergio.
I asked God where He'd have me go in this next season of life and what He'd have me do. It seems there are so many opportunities for ministry coming up, and they all seem great. Which one do I choose?
As I grew older, I've encountered others that have caused me deeper pain after
I gave them my trust. My tendency, I've noticed, is to run to safety nets that
I create. Vices even, that bring temporary relief. Entertainment in movies, TV
shows, games or otherwise, that numb the mind and bring distraction from real
issues.
"I was not home in the afternoon of January 12th," he told us. "It is not easy to talk about this. My dad was here, though, with my sister and her kid. This is where they found my dad," he said, pointing. "It is not easy to talk about this," he repeated. "He was eating dinner. They pulled my sister out here. Her son was tucked under her arm. They were both dead. It is not easy to talk about this."
I imagine there are infinitely more incredible heavenly angelic beings sent to fight for me, warding them off. They are battling for my soul, and I imagine I've given them a pretty rough time of it. It's by my choices that they fail or are victorious.
I cannot afford to relax my spiritual man. Not right now. And so I admit myself regularly to getting checkups. I have guys praying for me. I have peers fighting with me. I have
spiritual fathers investing into me. I let them know where I'm at. I go
in repeatedly for checkups.
I periodically check in with other spiritual fathers like 