Over the course of the last few months God has placed two things heavily on my heart – discipleship and teaching. I would like to focus on both all my life. I don't know how it'll all work out, but I feel God strongly pushing me to further his kingdom through the commitment to them. Which isn't so bad because, as it turns out, I love discipleship and I love teaching! I've been doing both regularly and have found confidence and joy in both.

Now it's just a matter of finding my next step. I know God wants me to focus on these two things, but I don't know how it should look or where to go. A few opportunities have presented themselves, and I'm trying to follow God through them. It can be hard with all the emotions mixed in, but the greatest blessing God has given me yet is wonderful direction from spiritual authorities that love and care for me, who regularly invest into me and desire me to achieve greatness. Who knows what the heck this greatness will look like, but I'm a firm believer that God, the creator of heaven and earth, created all things with greatness in mind. It's just a matter of us realizing it.

It has been a tremendous blessing for me to pour into these four young men in Granada. I've grown a lot in the process and am will continue the investment. I'm a loyal guy who sticks by people I care about, especially those who I think will go places. So these guys have got me for another while at least.

I've also made a very close friend out here. Ironically, he was kind of my first friend. His dad and my dad went to Darden business school together, so Baker and I knew each other in the crib. Our families continued to get together over the years. Baker and I went to a sailing camp when we were around twelve. That was the last time we saw each other. As God works in our lives and continues to allow our paths to cross, I look forward to whatever is next. God's done an awesome work in his life.

And yet another great honor is being discipled I was here. I went out to Colorado originally to be discipled by Gary Black, one of my spiritual fathers. I was, and still am, very hungry for discipleship by strong men of God who have seen rough times and have real wisdom that comes from years of faithfulness. Gary is this father to me.

Leaving that behind I knew I needed continued discipleship to lead me into my calling and anointing further. The past year and a half I was broken. It felt like I was chewed up and spit out. I needed that spiritual father to help piece me together. For the past 3 ½ months Charles Kaye has done exactly that. He is incredibly smart, wise and fun. He seeks the heart of God, is patient with me in my growth and pushes me continually.  He's been faithful, he's spoken truth and told me the difficult things that needed to be said. I couldn't have asked for more.

In one week I'll go back. I'm hoping that many of the discipleship relationships I've had with the young men here will continue as they pursue the Lord.

This morning I interviewed Oscar Gutiérrez. He grew up in a world of soccer, parties, and girls and his life has been changed through the ministry of Vida Joven (VJ – In English, Young Life), a ministry we have been heavily involved with here in Granada. Now soccer is a tool for him to invite kids to VJ, he is preparing to be a leader in the program, and he is continuing his education in the university that he withdrew from three years ago. This is his story...

Before VJ, before I knew anything about it, my life was completely dedicated to partying. I toyed with the emotions of girls and smoked a lot. When I started partying, I wasn't necessarily smoking and into many vices, but the more I got into it, my life started spiraling downward. I got into marijuana a few times. This whole scene lasted about eight months, and looking back, I felt like my life had no meaning.

In September of 2008, I met a girl. When I met her, she didn't tell me anything about VJ. She was hanging out with a couple of other girls who wanted us to go to VJ's club, so I went with them. In the club, we watched a video about a guy named Nick, who should have been incapacitated, but functioned very well considering his circumstances. I saw in this video that nothing was impossible.

Shortly thereafter I had the opportunity to go to my first VJ sports camp. At the camp they took us to a labyrinth and taught us about listening to God's voice. I tried it out, but it was very difficult for me to hear him. The camp was good because, while they were somewhat restrictive, but they weren't legalistic. They made me not want to do the things I had been doing.

Following this I was invited on another VJ camp. When we were there, we had a time of worshiping God. Something moved me to tears during the singing. I was closing my eyes, and when I opened them, I looked down at the floor and I saw the face of Jesus. I sobbed uncontrollably as I felt the Lord calling me. I felt him intimately; I knew then that he cared for me. This motivated me to give my testimony about my life and what I was still doing to the others that were with me. They were people from my city that knew me or knew of me before. Before I started talking, I didn't feel like I'd have the words to speak because I was embarrassed, but my heart compelled me. I wanted to express that yes, I can change and others can too.

My next camp was a follow-up camp. There we went on a walk of faith. They blind-folded us and had us walk around. It reminded me of Catholic tradition we do here in Granada in which they blind-fold a statue of Jesus and parade around the street carrying him on their shoulders. They do this a lot the day before his death. It's called a procession of silence. The idea is that Jesus is walking through the crowd – the world, but he's blind to it, he's not of it. During this walk we were put thru a barrage of tests.

In one of them, they had me grab onto a rope and to imagine two worlds – this world and the one Jesus calls us to. The devil started speaking to me then, reminding me things of my past. I remember a moment when that was all I could focus on. I felt pretty confused and I cried because I didn't know what to do. I felt very alone. But I kept walking and tried to focus on God's voice alone. Then he spoke to me. He told me he's the way and the truth and the life. After this, the things that the enemy was saying to me didn't matter at all. As I continued walking, I felt closer and closer to God. Later, we were given the opportunity to go to the labyrinth again and invited into intimacy with the Lord; to hear his voice personally. This moved me a lot. I felt great meaning and purpose in this relationship I was introduced to. It was one of the most impacting experiences of my life.

By the fourth camp I was playing soccer and stepping into leadership. I felt incredibly incapable and ill prepared, but every time we had a meeting or I was pushed into something, God gave me the words to say to the kids there. These kids were into drugs and after a number of activities, we encouraged them to cry and let their emotions out. I said then, "Lord, I want you to change these kids' lives. I know that they need you and I know that you're the only one who can touch their hearts. You're the only one who can change them."

When we got back, I followed up with these kids. I saw that they truly desired God and this brought me great joy. True joy. It brought meaning into my life.

So the solitude time was pretty lonely for all of us. I guess that's the point. As it turned out, we ended staying on another piece of beautiful property in the Nicaraguan wilderness.

Going into it, as I said, I was expecting to find the Lord in an intense way. God would send an angel to me, I'd see visions like Daniel saw, I'd have immediate direction for the rest of my life and all my problems would be solved! I didn't know why I hadn't done this before. These were my expectations.

Reality hit after I had been sitting alone for 9 hours. I had written three pages in my journal, had read half of Revelation and Jeremiah and started reading Matthew. I spent some time in prayer for the guys that were spread out all over the 80 acres of wilderness. I had checked on them, hiked the majority of the property, eaten seven peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, drank about a ¼ of my water, and eaten half my bag of pistachios. I spoke in tongues for a while, took a nap, and did some more lonely things. "This is going to be a long three days," I thought to myself.

I wanted to go talk to Baker and see what God had been teaching him, but I refrained. I didn't even bother with making a lean-to. It had rained the day before in Granada, our first good rain in three months, so I figured I was safe. After eating a mango, another peanut butter and jelly sandwich, drinking some more water, brushing my teeth, making a fire and watching it go out, I went to sleep on my roots and sticks. It didn't matter to me, though. I was pretty tired. I slept surprisingly well considering the circumstances.

This continued for the duration of the solitude time. I ate lots of peanut butter and jelly, finished my pistachios, prayed and read lots of the Bible, and prayed some more.

Looking back on it all, it seemed to me to be more of a discipline than a time to be inspired by God and discover him in an intense way. I set aside my concerns and focused on God for a time. Without anything else bothering me, I allowed my thoughts to dwell completely on the Lord for three days. I suppose if I had gone into this with more direction, viewing it as a time to seek answers from the Lord, or to grow in my relationship with him in this area, or to focus on that quality of God, I might have more to say about it. Next time I do this, and I will, I'll do it with more direction. A couple of the guys did go into this time seeking a particular thing from the Lord and the Lord spoke to them.

On the last day, a few hours before the set time, we started crawling from our holes and "accidentally" passing each other. We were certainly ready to talk to each other. Just the sight of the other person brought a gigantic smile to my face and caused each party to laugh for no real reason.

Incidentally, I brought along my old journals from years past to read about what God was doing in me. I thought it interesting that exactly a year previously I was spending three days in solitude and fasting to seek the Lord. That time of solitude was on the World Race, with my team spread out over one house. It was different and we were all seeking direction from the Lord in our ministry.